Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
