I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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