it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
