ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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