Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
