all she had left on were here heels. phone five
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
