He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
