11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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