Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
