Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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