just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
