Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize