All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Randomize
