So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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