so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
