It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
