Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
