sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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