i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
