Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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