Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
