Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
