She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
