i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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