operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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