She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize