Welp...herpes.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
