If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
