ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
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