there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
