She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
