physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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