You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
