There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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