i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
