If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
