I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
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