Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
