I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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