I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
