I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
two words...techno handjob
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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