Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
