My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Randomize
