Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize