god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
