I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
