i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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