It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
