Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
