I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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