I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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