is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
