I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
