Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
where does the pee come out of this thing
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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