it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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