Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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