Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
