Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
