That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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