At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
