they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
