did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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