wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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