based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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